A Visit From Kim Possible  A KiGo Xmas Tale
by SHADO Commander
Summary: Learn what really happened the night before Christmas as the classic Xmas poem becomes a sordid ode to KiGo-oey goodness.  And yes, though a certain Blue villain is the narrator, it's KiGo through and through... and a bit mature-ish, so it gets an M


_Legal disclaimers: Kim Possible, Shego & Dr. Drakken are the creations of Mark McCorkle and Bob Schooley, and those names are all trademarks of the Disney media organizations. Although use in this context is probably considered fair under parody law, just in case: this work was not created for profit, no money changed hands etc. Also, this story takes place at a time at which all characters shown should be considered to be over the legal age of 18._

**A Visit From Kim Possible**

A Kigo Xmas Tale By SHADO Commander

Twas the night before Xmas  
And all through the lair  
I'd installed all the alarms  
That my budget could spare

I'd sent the henchmen to quarters,  
At eight, long ago,  
And it had been a few hours  
Since I'd last seen Shego

My death rays were all safe  
In the vaults deep below  
And my mind control devices  
Had been repossessed by Henchco

My girlfriend? I had none,  
Hey, toss me a bone!  
And I'm not desperate enough yet,  
To boff a sex synthodrone

But at least, now, at last,  
I was snug in my bed  
Where dreams of world conquest  
would dance in my head

When suddenly my Security Alarms  
And Systems started a clanging  
And in a blind panic  
Out of my bed I was spranging!

I threw open the blast door,  
And ran up the stair  
Intending to investigate  
Who might be out there!

But what I hadn't expected  
Was the source of the Racket  
For it was Kim Possible  
Wearing a long black leather jacket!

Once again she had somehow  
bypassed all my locks!  
And now she stood there, dripping slush,  
From her soaked Birkenstocks

Her sneaky sneak visit had caught  
Me alone and unwary!  
If I was going to escape,  
There was no time to tarry!

But fortunately I had hidden  
Within my nightshirt,  
A new product from Hencho,  
Called the VillainAlert!

I hit the red button  
That was labeled 'KP'  
And when the operator answered  
I screamed "Someone save me!"

And as if on cue,  
A dozen henchmen stormed in,  
No wait, it was after hours,  
So they'd only sent ten!

But what did that matter?  
The odds had been turned!  
Yet that darned Kim Possible,  
Looked quite unconcerned!

And her laugh at my Henchmen  
Sent me into a Fury!  
Now I'd teach that teen hero  
Why she had reason to worry!

So I ordered my Henchmen,  
To attack and to maim,  
Personalizing it of course,  
By calling each one by name!

"Go Bruiser, Go Mangler,  
Go Trasher and Bouncer!  
Get that redhead out of my sight,  
And then trounce her!"

"Go Donnigan, go Lonnigan!  
Go Killer and Crusher!  
Go Smasher, Go Basher!  
Don't just stand there, rush her!"

But did that phase Kim Possible?  
Oh, no, it did not!  
She looked at me and grinned,  
And said "That's all you've got?"

Then she pulled out a small mace,  
And bravely stood her ground,  
While my twelve less two henchmen,  
All circled around!

For just a second they waited  
As around her they tracked,  
Then on some unseen signal  
All my henchmen attacked!

But the thing about Possible,  
Is that for her body mass,  
She packs the world's largest helping,  
Of pure grade A whoop-ass!

And as for what happened next?  
Well, they fought for a while,  
But soon my poor henchman,  
Were laid out in a pile!

Kim's look said I was finished,  
And I couldn't retort,  
So I turned to my henchman,  
And tried again to exhort!

"Get up Killer and Basher,  
Get up Donnegan and Lonigan!  
Stop cowering and take  
that Possible on again!"

But I knew I was in trouble,  
From the whining and groaning,  
And the cries of surrender  
Those big pansies were moaning!

Now, it was just Kim and I,  
Which was not good for Me  
But as I prepared for a bruising,  
Quite unexpectedly,

"What the hell's going on?"  
I heard someone say,  
Good God, it was Shego,  
In a sheer negligee!

What a vision she was,  
How her muscles did ripple,  
Beneath her soft green colored skin,  
(With darker green at the nipple)

Her hands were ablaze,  
But what most made me stare,  
Was that she'd shaved a heart shape  
'round her black pubic hair

But there was no time to discuss  
that odd affectation,  
I needed her to conduct  
A rescue operation!

"Save me Shego" I screamed,  
"Save my precious blue hide!"  
But my blue blood ran cold,  
As Shego laughed and replied

"How can I save you,you fool,  
From your own moronity?  
When you installed new alarms,  
You didn't send that info on to me!"

"And the only reason you're even  
About to come to some harm,  
Is because I didn't know I had,  
To turn off one more alarm!"

"Try getting some gaydar,  
You clueless blue queen,  
She's been here most every night,  
Since she turned eighteen!"

And since that issue  
Had just been addressed,  
That's when I noticed that Kim  
WAS quite oddly dressed!

I'd noticed the jacket,  
But notable (by omission)  
Was the lack of the clothing  
She normally wore on a mission!

In fact, except for the leather,  
(Black jacket and boot,)  
Kim Possible was wearing nothing  
Except her birthday suit!

And the club that she'd wielded,  
While she played Terminator,  
Wasn't a real club at all  
It was a Vibrator!

(Well at least that explained  
The mysterious buzzin',  
That I'd heard while she dealt my poor guards  
Such a drubbin!)

"Now hold on Shego," I whined,  
"Could I have just heard that rightly?  
Are you telling me you've been  
Letting her in almost nightly?"

"Well of course," Shego smirked,  
"You pathetic blue lout!  
Kim's been coming in here,  
Ever since she came out!"

"That's right, Doc," Kim added,  
"What she's saying is true,  
Though to be totally accurate,  
She's been coming in here too!"

"Ain't that the truth Princess," Shego grinned,  
In a manner so gay,  
"But now that you know,  
We'll both be on our way,"

"I'm afraid that I'm going  
To have to end my employment,  
Since my job now conflicts with  
My sexual enjoyment."

Then Possible faced me,  
And said "Doc, here's the sitch,  
She's your side-kick no more,  
She's Kim Possible's Bitch!"

And then to my horror,  
Shego grabbed Kim by the hips,  
And right in front of my eyes,  
Smacked her lips to her lips!

And as I stood there in shock,  
Trying to process the truth,  
Kim's vibrator became a grapple  
And shot up to the roof!

And still lip-locked together,  
They flew up to the ceiling,  
(While I got an upskirt view  
that left my head reeling!)

But as they swung away,  
Off into the night,  
I suddenly realized,  
That all was all right!

Because I knew as they vanished  
In just a few seconds flat  
That Kim Possible, to Shego,  
Really is all of that!

And while, as a villain, I suppose,  
I could have considered this all sour grapes,  
I knew that I'd soon be consoled watching,  
Last year's Shego's room video surveillance tapes!

So my Henchman and I,  
All sat down for a show,  
With Popcorn and cocoa moo  
And lots of hard-core KiGo!

And that joyous holiday gift,  
Made all my wishes come true!  
(Send me $6.99 for a DVD  
And you can enjoy it too!)


End file.
